Time
by Subtlynice
Summary: A delve into the mind of... Carlisle Cullen. Carlisle has seen very little of Edward since the family left Bella and Forks behind them. What does he think about Edward's determination to let Bella have a normal, human life? 1000 words exactly.


**Time**

_Carlisle has seen very little of Edward since the family left Bella and Forks behind them. What does he think about Edward's determination to let Bella have a normal, human life?_

_This story is precisely 1000 words, as it was written for my 'Delving' series._

Standard disclaimer applies. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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I haven't seen Edward for three months now.

Time passes slowly. For our kind, I've always found time to be something of an enigma. It is a mystery. Who first measured it; who first thought of it? Why do we – immortals – pay more attention to it than humans, who trudge slowly down their all-too-short paths and then wonder how their time was used up so quickly?

I can only imagine how slowly time is passing for Edward.

His departure has affected us all. Emmett is worried, Alice is frustrated, Jasper is nervous, Rosalie is aggravated. My dear wife Esme is fretting as always for Edward; the boy who is in so many respects her son.

It is only natural for Esme to fret – she mothered Edward from the start, even when she herself was a newborn. Even when we travelled under the pretence that Edward was Esme's younger brother, she still cared for him like a mother would care for her son. Her motherly tendencies have never faded. His behaviour now is worrying her – she fears he will never truly be happy again. I try to provide comfort, I try to stay hopeful for her, but I worry too.

Where has he gone? Where will he go? He doesn't bother to keep in touch. Time, family and life seem to have lost all meaning for him. The last I knew of him, he was wandering across South America with the sole purpose of tracking Victoria. But what will happen when Victoria is no longer a threat to the one person who still gives his existence some meaning? I am worried that my son's lack of self-value will be his downfall.

I miss her too. In the short time I knew her, I learnt to respect Bella and care for her. Wise beyond her very few years, she showed such determination and strength of character for a human girl, the prey standing bravely among her potential predators. I wonder if she realises Edward's lie. If she misses us like we miss her. I wonder if she still loves him, as he loves her.

We all remember her perfectly. And we all miss her, even Rosalie, though she would never admit it. Rosalie misses Edward's presence in our family, and therefore misses Bella, for Bella is the only thing Edward would return for. The rest of us miss them both the same. It is a constant struggle not to go against Edward's wishes and visit Bella, just to check that she is safe and well. The only thing that stops us is Alice's assurance that Edward will not last much longer. She can see how badly the separation is affecting him, and she can see that he will have to give in soon. It is better for both of them if he returns before us. I can only hope that his beliefs do not get in the way of any progress he makes.

My son's beliefs have always disturbed me, and though I have respected them, I wonder if Isabella Swan feels the same way that I do. He claims to be soulless, a monster, a sick, masochistic villain. He believes he cannot be redeemed.

But how could an all-loving God not take pity on my son, desperate and conflicted as he is? After all, everything he has done has been for the good of others; for me, for Esme, for Bella.

I know my son is good. And I believe just as strongly as Edward refuses to believe. Edward _will_ be accepted as a good person in the afterlife, I _know_ he will. That does not worry me. What disturbs me is just how quickly the afterlife may come for him. I have never, in all my years seen anything as pitiful as what he has become now. His last visit was brief, and I'm not sure it did anything to alleviate our worries. His eyes were black as coal, but he did not hunt with us. He spoke very little to us all.

I'm sure we were all thinking the same thoughts; all of us were worried out of our minds about him. But he said nothing about it, almost as if he had given up paying attention to our thoughts- as if he was past caring. As if he did not need to block out our thoughts anymore, because he was too numb to the world around him. Too broken.

He knows how to kill a vampire. He knows that most of our kind are savages, nomads who would leap at the chance for a good fight. If it weren't for Alice I would not have let him out of our sight. At least through Alice we can keep track of his decisions. But since he has not made any full decisions since September, even through Alice it is difficult to keep track of him.

I remember the one other time my son was away from home for so long. This isn't as bad as it was then, but now it is not just us and Esme. Now there are an extra four people worrying about him. Edward has always been the most difficult of my children, and though I love him dearly there are many times when I think back on my decision in 1918 with shame at my weakness. If I had never given in to my desire for companionship, he would not be suffering now. He would never have met Bella and would never have had to tell her goodbye.

Time. Vampires have an endless amount of it. Humans have very little. Vampires never forget. Humans forget important things with such ease. Bella, my human daughter will forget about us very shortly. In less than a century she will be gone. But my vampire son Edward will not forget and he will have an endless amount of time to mope and morn her.

Will he give in? Will he ever be happy again?

Time will tell.

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Thank you for reading. This story is also available in Spanish and Portuguese. Links to the translations can be found on my profile. If you liked this story, please feel free to leave a review or some constructive criticism. x


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